There are people who bring light to life. There are people who extinguish light in life. There are people who have no bearing on light in life. Ben brought light to life

Oh Benj. Where on earth do I begin. I can't. You arent just a brother, youve been a father figure and best friend. I keep repeating how our love is so unconditional, not a single row in my whole life. Im so grateful we were so vocal with eachother about how much we love eachother and how important we are to eachother. I can hear you now saying "love you Ems". So many memories keep flooding in, really obscure ones I havent thought of in years! Im so grateful for the duplo you bought me out of your pocket money at christmas, the frostie sweets youd buy me at pick up time from school, locking me in your bedroom so you could teach me what good music was, tucking me in at bedtime like a caterpillar so you could make up stories about a super granny, honking the horn of the car and waving at strangers like we knew them, blaring jambalaya gumbo in your vintage Mercedes when picking mum and I up with the windows down so all could look at us baffled. Thomas, Hugo and Florence miss you so much too. Hugo said "uncle Ben is with Noonie now" and Florence said "and George Michael" 😂 You would have laughed, George, my real dad hahaa. When I say I have lost my brother I dont think people understand to what degree, its impossible for anyone to understand. We are unconditional Benji, I am unconditionally on your side. Im always in your corner. "Ems, if Mum asks who ate the big spoon of nutella would you mind saying it was you" and of course I did, Mum asked and I straight away at 6 years old said "It was me Mum" I would take anything for you. I from day 1 of my life was bonded to you. you rocked with mum on the floor while she was in labour with me, you were just 8 years old. You were an old soul, wise beyond your years. The tsunami of people who have rallied round and are affected by losing you doesn't surprise me. You were a selfless giver to the very end, too much so, always taking on too much. But being there for others brought you joy. You can judge a man by his friends, and the people you have brought into my life are a reflection of your great judgement. I have not only been blessed with a sister in Suzi but you gave me 3 more boys who I also love unconditionally. And I have an army of brothers in your friends. I can keep writing forever and a day. So much unsaid. But I know you feel all of it. I genuinely feel like I carry a part of you within me, we were brought up with empathy and compassion, it's ingrained in us. I will continue in your name to try and look after anyone you did. They can always come to me and I'll try and say what I think you'd say. love you so much Benjibooboos 😂 Love from StinkyteRast ❤️

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